The brain science behind keeping boys engaged in the classroom.
by Nathan Wallis, as told to Penny Hartill.
This piece was first published in The Post on 25 July 2025.
Opinion: If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my years studying neuroscience and working alongside educators, it’s this: learning is an emotional process long before it’s a cognitive one. This applies just as much to boys as it does for girls. Behind every successful lesson sits a young person who needs to feel safe, valued, and connected before they can engage their higher-order thinking skills.
“Now, neuroscience is confirming what so many teachers have long understood”
In classrooms across the country, dedicated educators are already creating emotionally safe, relationship-rich environments that enable boys to thrive. And it’s time we celebrate that.
Good teaching is complex work. It’s not just about delivering curriculum content — it’s about reaching the whole child. This is particularly important for boys, who, on average, experience emotions more intensely and develop emotional regulation skills later than their female peers. The reason lies in the biology of the brain. Boys have a larger amygdala — the part of the brain responsible for emotions — while females typically have a denser corpus callosum, which connects the emotional and rational parts of the brain more efficiently.
What this means in practice is that boys often need more support regulating their emotional states before they’re in a position to learn. The great news is that many teachers are already responding to this, whether or not they frame it in neuroscientific terms. They’re building strong, trusting relationships with their students, creating classroom cultures grounded in fairness and respect, and offering manageable, well-supported challenges that promote resilience.
Take the increasing use of restorative practices in schools. Instead of simply punishing behaviour, these approaches invite students to reflect on what happened, who was affected, and how to put things right. It’s about teaching empathy and emotional literacy — skills boys especially benefit from, as they often have fewer social tools for navigating conflict. I see countless examples of teachers leaning into these conversations with care and clarity, helping young men build essential life skills alongside academic ones.
One approach used by teachers that I’ve seen working particularly well involves balancing “tolerable stress” with relational safety. Neuroscience tells us that a certain level of challenge is good for the brain — it promotes growth and resilience — but too much can be toxic, especially if a student feels unsupported or disconnected. The most effective teachers create that sweet spot of expectation and encouragement where young people, especially boys, rise to the occasion because they know someone’s in their corner.
Friendly, well-managed competition is another tool great teachers often use to engage boys. Competition, when introduced in a healthy, supportive environment, taps into evolutionary drives that many boys respond to. It’s not about creating cutthroat rivalries, but about setting clear, achievable goals and celebrating success along the way. In these classrooms, students experience regular, tangible moments of achievement — and each small success builds resilience, motivation, and a growing belief in their own capability.
Fairness is another non-negotiable when it comes to teaching boys well. Studies show that boys, even more than girls, will disengage from learning if they perceive injustice or inconsistency from adults. The best educators get this. They’re transparent about their decisions, take time to hear students’ perspectives, and explain the reasoning behind classroom expectations. In doing so, they build trust — and trust keeps boys at the table.
It’s also worth noting that while we can talk about typical male and female brain tendencies, every individual is unique. I often refer to the mosaic theory of gender, which reminds us that we all possess a mix of traditionally masculine and feminine traits. The most effective teachers aren’t those who box students into categories, but those who respond flexibly to the needs and tendencies in front of them.
What I find so encouraging is that many teachers are already practicing exactly this kind of relational, emotionally intelligent teaching. They greet their students warmly, they notice the boy who’s unusually quiet, they pause a lesson to settle rising tensions, and they use humour and storytelling to create connections. They recognise that it’s not weakness to acknowledge emotions — it’s essential for learning.
The opportunity we have now is to better support teachers by embedding this understanding of brain development and emotional regulation into initial teacher education and ongoing professional development. Not because our teachers aren’t already doing great things — but because they deserve to have the science that validates their instincts and strengthens their practice.
We need to listen more to our best practitioners, acknowledge what works, and build on those foundations. Relationship-based teaching is not a “soft” option — it’s the most effective, evidence-based approach we have for fostering both wellbeing and academic success. Whether it’s in literacy, numeracy, or life skills, our young people learn best when they feel connected.
“If we want our boys to thrive in the classroom and beyond, we need to keep doing what so many teachers already do so well: see them as a whole person first, and the learning will follow. ”
Nathan Wallis, a father of three and foster parent, is a neuroscience educator with a professional background in child counselling, teaching and social service management. He has lectured in Human Development at the University of Canterbury and was a board member and senior trainer with the national body responsible for the dissemination of neuroscientific research to professionals.